Love's Abundant Harvest Page 21

  “Oh, I’m so glad.” Lucy hugged little Rhoda even closer to her chest.

  Even though he was only gone for an hour or so, Manny actually appreciated the time alone. But he was always glad to come back to Lucy and the babies. He studied Lucy’s face and wondered whether she’d had a minute to take a breath outside or be alone. He doubted it but thought she should. “Why don’t you take a step outside? It’s crisp out there, but it might do you some good.”

  Lucy tilted her head and stared at him. “This has to be hard for you, getting married and fathering two babies in one day. You must have a million thoughts going through your head.”

  “Only a hundred. My mind isn’t in full gear yet.” Manny tried to grin, but he found even that took too much effort. He didn’t want to admit it, but he’d never been so tired. He had baled hay, threshed wheat, chopped tobacco, and more, but none of those chores caused the exhaustion he was feeling at that moment. When he studied her face, Manny knew she needed him to reaffirm that he had made the right choice. So did he.

  “This is where I’m supposed to be, with the people I’m to be with. There’s no looking back or second thoughts. We both made a choice, and I’m glad we made the one that we did.”

  Lucy lifted her hand over her face and wiped away a tear. It was then he knew he’d said the right thing, finally. She’d been so upside down and around in circles with him the last couple of weeks, he wasn’t sure what to think. But now he could see the emotions flowing, relieving her of all the worry and stress she’d surely been under, from Sam to the babies and her mamm and daed.

  Manny gathered Timmy closer to his chest and walked to her. He sat on the footstool at her feet and then looked down at her. “You sure are attached to her.”

  “Jah, such an innocent little thing. Starting out with challenges the minute you come into this world just doesn’t seem fair.” She still had her eyes on Rhoda.

  “Nothing’s fair in life. You’ve said that now a number of times yourself. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.” But something was different this time. Maybe it was because it affected the little one now, not just Lucy with all she’d dealt with. Having a babe to bear the burden with would make things different.

  “I wish I could take it all away from her, lessen the load she’ll have as she grows older.” Lucy stroked the baby’s cheek and smiled slightly.

  “We all have something. Some people’s load is just less visible is all.” He didn’t know whether she was hearing a word he said and felt inept. He’d heard of moms having baby blues and all. Maybe this was something like that. He’d ask the doc when he came to visit today. Soon, he hoped.

  “You go on and do what you need to. We’ll be fine here.” She seemed to mean it, so he stood up to give the baby to Fannie as soon as she walked in the door. The doctor came in behind her.

  “Morning, Doc, good to see you.” Manny couldn’t mean it more. He honestly didn’t know what he was in for. He loved his new bride, and he’d learn the ways of being a daed, but at the moment he felt completely out of his comfort level. The doctor wasn’t a talkative man, but maybe Manny could get some words of advice before he left.

  “Morning, Manny.” He grinned as if he knew Manny’s concern, and then made his way to Lucy. “May I?” He reached for Timmy and held him like a sack of grain, tucked into his arm. He checked him over and then handed him to Rosy, who beamed from ear to ear. Lucy hadn’t been generous in giving anyone much time with the babies, especially with Rhoda.

  “How is she eating?” he asked. Doctor Daniel’s frown told Manny he was concerned. He was a man of no emotion. Extra words or facial expression alarmed Manny.

  “What is it, Doc?”

  When Doctor Daniel turned to Manny and looked him in the eye, he knew it was something important. He almost wished he hadn’t said anything, but they needed to know. Good, bad, or otherwise, they all had to be aware of what lay ahead.

  Doctor Daniel crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the worn wood floor. “Your daughter may have a genetic disorder.” He put up a hand when Lucy gasped and put a hand over her mouth. “We just need to keep a close watch to see how she progresses.”

  “What kind of problems?” Fannie spoke up from behind him, which he seemed to have strategically arranged. He didn’t turn around but kept his focus on Lucy and Manny.

  “Narrow rib cage and lungs may cause breathing and heart abnormalities—”

  “How common, and how does it affect the heart and lungs?” Fannie took a step to his side.

  “About half of these cases have those abnormalities. As far as the heart issue, the medical jargon is atrial septal defect, if you’d like to look it up.” He looked over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes. “Any further questions will be directed to me by the parents.”

  Fannie opened her mouth to speak but then shut it and squeezed her hands together. Manny was torn as to how much he wanted to hear, but the doctor would know better than any of them. He wouldn’t want to go up against Fannie, on just about anything for that matter. Her blue eyes were seared into Doctor Daniel’s at the moment, so he thought it was a good time to keep things on track.

  “Why her?” Lucy seemed to be taking the news well.

  “It’s genetic. Intermarriages.” His curt responses didn’t bother Manny. The less he knew now, the better. There was only so much he could handle at the moment.

  “But Manny isn’t their biological daed.” Lucy said it like that might help the situation, that he would come to save her once again from something bad happening in her life.

  Doctor Daniel nodded, turned his gaze to Manny, and then continued. “It’s rare, but coming to our attention more due to the fact it is limited to the Amish and especially those in Lancaster.”

  “Maybe this is enough information for one day,” Manny said to Doctor Daniel, but kept his gaze on Lucy.

  “I agree, but with one last note.” He looked around at each of them as he spoke. “Some cases are so mild that symptoms are not readily apparent if at all. This is a rare medical condition. Keep that in mind.” He looked back at Fannie and then reached for his bag. “I’ll be calling again soon unless you need me sooner. Take care of yourselves.”

  Right before he walked out the door, he stopped. “Fannie, will you step outside?” He said it more than asked and went out on the front porch.

  Lucy watched her go and held Rhoda even tighter.

  What was to become of their little one, so weak and mild? As far as love and attention, the women who lived in this haus would give her more than ever. That was one thing Manny was sure of. He watched as Lucy clung to Rhoda, her hands gripping the homespun blanket her mamm had made, until her hands went white. She was holding on too tightly and needed a break, or it would consume her. He wanted to do the same—protect Rhoda and never let her out of his sight—but right now, they needed that for themselves, just as the doctor said.

  He took slow steps to Lucy and sat next to her on the footstool again. “Let’s take a walk.”

  She frowned and moved Rhoda down a couple inches from her chest.” I don’t think we should; the babies aren’t ready.” She patted the baby’s cheek.

  When he touched her arm, she slowly looked over at him with eyes glazed. “We shouldn’t leave them . . . not yet.”

  Manny took her hand and tucked his finger under her chin to get her to look at him. “You need to
get out of the haus, even for a few minutes. Take in some fresh air, and we’ll come right back.”

  She nodded. He called for Nellie, who hadn’t held Rhoda even once since she was brought into this world. It was time for Lucy to trust others and give herself time away from them, even if it was just for a moment.

  Lucy’s hand lingered on the babe’s cheek before she relinquished her to Nellie’s embrace. “Danke, Nellie. The folded diapers are in the second drawer, and—”

  Nellie put a hand on Lucy’s. “She’ll be fine, and so will you. Take a stroll and enjoy your husband for a while. We’ll all be here when you get back.” She grinned.

  “Let’s go.” Manny took Lucy by the hand to keep her on task, and she only looked back once. When she took a step outside, she closed her eyes and took in a long breath.

  “The sun feels good.”

  Her pale face seemed even lighter outdoors. This would be good for her. For an Amish woman to be stuck in a haus for as long as she had would surely give her the baby blues. He did not intend to let that happen.

  She took slow steps to Manny’s buggy and leaned against it.

  “Do you feel up for a ride?” He didn’t want to push her but also liked seeing her outside the four walls she’d been in for days.

  Lucy peeked into the buggy. Manny had a nice upgraded buggy, with cushions and velvet covers. Leather dashboards and a good many windows made for a comfortable ride. “Maybe a short one.”

  Manny couldn’t help but smile as he helped her climb into the buggy and get comfortable. He got in the other side and studied her. She was smiling and looking forward, ready to go. “You’ll tell me where to go and when you’re ready to head back, jah?”

  “Jah, I will. I’d like to go to Sam’s place.” She kept looking forward, sure of herself. Now he was the one who wasn’t comfortable. He’d honestly thought she’d be okay to be out. He’d seen other women up and running the household within a couple days, but their situation was different.

  “Are you sure?” Sam’s wasn’t that far, but he wanted to make sure she could go that far, and he wasn’t crazy about being on Sam’s place.

  She looked over at him with a smile. “We won’t stay long. I just need to see it one last time.”

  The elders had decided to clear any leftover debris, open the place up, and help Lucy sell the farm, but they weren’t in a hurry due to the high cost. Maybe that was why she wanted to go there—to see that things got wrapped up.

  At the end of the long lane to what was left of the barn, Manny tethered the buggy and went over to help Lucy out. She took a few steps to where the barn had once stood and picked up a large piece of wood. It caught on her finger, and she jumped back as if stung by a bee. She sat on a large tree stump and looked down at the parched ground beneath her feet.

  His curiosity got the best of him. “Why did you change your mind to come here?” He just had to know.

  “There are only bad memories here, but this is where I felt I needed to be right now.”

  “Whatever for?” He couldn’t take it in, but decided to just let her do what she needed to.

  “This was my hiding place. I hid from everything and everyone here, not just Sam.” She gestured to the barn and the piece of wood she held.

  “You can’t hide from Gott,” he offered, to remind her she was never alone, even back then.

  She gave him a slow smile and nodded.

  “So what brought you here today?”

  She closed her eyes to the heavens as the clouds hid under the sun. “The comfort that comes from knowing that I don’t live here, and neither will my children.”

  Lucy looked out the kitchen window to see Abner hobbling down the lane. He slowed as he got closer to Mammi’s front door, took a breath, and bent over.

  “Rosy, will you get the door?” She held Rhoda as she cleaned up the kitchen, glad to be able to help again. The girls had made every meal and done all the cleaning until just yesterday, making Lucy feel useless. She knew they didn’t mind, but it helped keep her preoccupied about what might happen to her baby girl. Doctor Kauffman made regular visits, but Lucy didn’t always understand what he was saying. If it weren’t for Fannie asking him question after question, Lucy would only know half of what she did.

  Abner knocked once and opened the door with a bang. “I’ve got news from back home, Lucy.” He took in a breath.

  “Who is it? Is everyone all right?” Lucy handed the baby to Rosy and put on a shawl. Her mind twinged each time her shoe hit the wood floor.

  “It’s her daed, isn’t it?” Rosy held Rhoda close and stayed near Timmy in a basket on the kitchen table.

  “Jah, afraid so.” His hearing wasn’t so good, so everyone in the room usually heard what he had to say.

  Lucy headed out the door. She kept walking, not waiting for the answer just yet. She knew what the call was about. Thoughts flew through her head that she didn’t want to face. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about him every day and known this time would come; it was just that having it actually happen was more than she could bear. Part of her wanted to run fast and far away from hearing the truth. It would be so much easier to deny that this was happening . . . and what of her mamm? She was such a strong woman, but not with this. Daed was her solid ground, laughter, and sunshine, the only one who accepted her the way she was. “Oh . . . ” Lucy groaned. How would her mamm ever cope?

  Lucy had aimlessly followed Abner to the community phone. The minister lived a good mile away, but she hadn’t said a word except to confirm she wanted to use the phone.

  Abner dialed the number she gave him, the only one she knew. When he turned to hand her the phone, his eyes were moist and his smile was dismal, confirming her thoughts.

  Lucy’s hand shook as she grasped the phone. She let out a long breath and sucked another in. “Hallo?” Her voice was not her own, raspy and faint. Only silence on the other end. The eerie silence seemed forever before she heard the sound of sobs.

  “Mamm? Is that you?”

  “Lucy, it’s so good to hear your voice.”

  The crack in Mamm’s voice brought the tears. Lucy recalled how she had dreaded her visit for nothing.

  “Jah, you too, Mamm.” Lucy wanted to ask, but couldn’t. So she waited, listening to her mamm try to pull herself together so she could talk.

  “Well, I was just fine until I heard you.” She cleared her throat. “When did it happen?”

  “Just a couple of days after I got back. You should know that your daed died smiling, literally. He was telling your sisters a joke, believe it or not.”

  Lucy couldn’t help but smile, picturing it in her mind. Her sisters surrounding him and Mamm trying to keep a straight face but failing. “That doesn’t surprise me. Which one?” She remembered how he repeated the same jokes but tweaked them just enough to make them smile again.

  “About the potatoes.”

  Lucy grinned. “Why did the farmer use a steamroller to plough his field?”

  “Oh, that’s silly.” Mamm’s voice was a little stronger with each word she said, and to hear her repeat one of Daed’s jokes would make Lucy smile.

  “Don’t you remember?” It was quiet for a moment, just long enough to make Mamm respond.

  “To make mashed potatoes.” And then she started to cry again, a good cry that made Lucy bawl too. But it was a cle
ansing weeping, which drew them closer together than they ever had been. Those precious couple of months together couldn’t have come at a better time.

  They talked about the wake and friends who had come from near and far to pay their respects, and then Lucy spoke with two of her sisters and promised she and Fannie would call them again when they could. Lucy wondered how long she had been on the phone, knowing it was costing money with every minute they spoke.

  As soon as the phone was on the cradle, Abner peeked around the barn door. “I’m sorry, Lucy. I know how close you were to him.”

  “Jah, he was a gut man.” She pulled her shawl closer and prepared herself for the cold that was starting to come each morning and evening once the sun was down.

  Abner stuck his hands under his arms. “I’ll walk you home.”

  Lucy wouldn’t usually want to bother him, but today she accepted his offer. Silence filled the air. What was there to say when something like this happened?

  Manny was waiting for her and stood when she got back to Mammi’s. When she nodded, he lowered his head. She felt a void, wishing Manny could have known her daed. But she praised God she had Manny to fill the hole in her heart.

  “Thanks, Abner.” Manny took Lucy’s hand, and they turned to go into the haus. She looked down at their hands twined together. Manny had asked her to move to his haus a number of times, wanting to make it a home for their family, but she was overwhelmed with Rhoda’s needs. It was at that moment she realized how selfish she had been, letting fear control their relationship, robbing them of time alone to become a family.

  “How was your mamm?” His voice brought her back to reality.

  “She was better than I expected. We had a good talk.”

  Manny pursed his lips. “I have to admit I’m a little surprised. But things did get better between you two. What did she say?”

  Lucy didn’t want to talk of sadness, death, or how far away her family was right then, so she grinned and turned toward Manny. “Potatoes.”