Love's Abundant Harvest Page 17

  “Lucy?” He stopped, hoping she’d look at him with a smile, but he didn’t think she even knew he was there. “Luce, are you all right?”

  Her head moved from side to side, and she covered her mouth. Her back straightened, and she lifted her head. When she dropped her hands from her face, he saw the blotchy cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

  “What is it, Lucy?” A storm of ideas came to mind as he watched her rub her face and use her apron to wipe her nose. Her shoulders shook when she took in a breath, so he gave her another minute that seemed much longer. He shifted his feet. “Will you please tell me what’s wrong?”

  “I’m sorry, Manny. I’m not good company right now.” She still hadn’t looked him in the eyes, and he started to really worry. Whatever was bothering her was more than just the difficulties of being pregnant. He’d been around her enough to know that this was way over the top.

  “Just tell me, Lucy. I can’t stand to see you like this.” He was about to plead again when she turned his way.

  “My mamm.” Lucy shook her head. “She’s going to Tennessee, but she’s back to her old self again, so I’m glad to see her go.”

  Manny jerked his head back. He and Lucy had come a long way since he’d gotten to know her, and he’d seen great strides after the explosion. He couldn’t imagine what Verna was up to now. It wasn’t right to put Lucy in a situation that had her all upset like this. “What is it now?”

  “She’s playing matchmaker again.” Lucy shook her head. “She just has to stick her nose in everything.”

  Manny analyzed the situation from both sides. Besides the fact he didn’t want another suitor on the scene, he could also see Verna’s intentions. She was a caretaker, used to setting everything right and getting things in order. The hardest thing for someone like her was to leave something undone. Little did Verna know he already had the answer, if all went as planned.

  “I might have a solution to this, Lucy. But first I have to tell you that what your mamm is doing is just tying up loose ends so she will know you’re in good hands.”

  Lucy looked straight at him. Her tired eyes and red nose warned him not to push too hard. This was something she’d dealt with all her life, and now with everything going on with her body, it would be enough to really set her off. “What is it, Manny? What’s your advice, right along with the rest of them?”

  Manny ignored the sarcasm. That wasn’t the real Lucy talking. He still wasn’t sure enough of himself to think she’d accept his offer, but at this point what did either of them have to lose? “I have an offer.”

  Lucy scoffed. “What? What is it, Manny? Just tell me and get it over with.” Her weary eyes watered. He couldn’t stand to see any more tears. But clearly she didn’t seem to believe what he had to say was worth much.

  He looked down at his boots and at her face again. His black boots were the more appealing option. “Lucy, if you’d be so inclined . . . ” He swallowed, glanced at her, and then looked down again. Her blotchy cheeks lightened a little, and she’d almost stopped shaking.

  “Just say it, Manny.” Her voice sounded more like herself, but still with a sad tone to it.

  He let out a long breath and straightened up, looking into her blue eyes. “Lucy, will you marry me?”

  Lucy’s face went white. Her breathing quickened.

  Manny sat beside her and took her hand. “I should have asked you a long time ago, after Sam died. But I didn’t want to be disrespectful. Besides, I thought you’d turn me down, and if you had, we might not be able to remain friends. And having you means the world to me. So I let the time go, and now here we are with you ready to give birth.”

  She smiled, a little embarrassed. “Manny?”

  “Jah, I’m here.” He watched her eyes meet his. “I’m sorry. I made things worse. I knew you weren’t well and did it anyway.”

  “Did what, Manny?” She pushed herself up and turned toward him. “Ask me again.”

  He didn’t know if she was relieved or in shock. But he’d do what she wanted. He needed to hear it again himself. He took one hand as the other one was shaking, holding her up. She was so weak, he worried he’d set her off again. But this was what they both needed to hear.

  “Lucy, will you be my wife? I should have asked you a long time ago after Sam died. But I was scared you’d turn me down, and if you had, we might not be friends. And having you as a friend means the world to me.”

  “Jah. . . if you are willing to raise two babies with me.”

  Manny froze and stared at her. “Two?” He grinned.

  She smiled meekly. It was probably the biggest effort she’d made since he arrived, but he was sure glad to see it. He needed to know she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

  Verna picked up the iron from the potbellied stove and dropped it down onto a blue dress. She pushed so hard, her knuckles turned white. Lucy knew that not even the tiniest wrinkle would remain in the little blue dress.

  Lucy had mixed emotions. She was relieved to be able to tell her mamm that Manny had proposed, but she was worried what her mamm would say and do. Mamm was upset with her for refusing to meet the man who Mamm said just wanted to stop by for a cup of coffee. Lucy hadn’t set foot in the kitchen until he was gone, and now she had to tell Mamm her news. She just hoped she would let go of her disappointment long enough appreciate what Lucy had to tell her.

  The smell of steam rising off the material filled her nostrils as she made herself a cup of coffee. “Mamm, don’t be upset with me.”

  Mamm pushed down harder on the iron and glanced up at her. “It’s autumn. Everyone who is getting married has their companion. I spent a good deal of time talking with him about his farm that’s a good distance away. I guess I’m not surprised you hadn’t met him.” She shook her head. “I know it’s different for you, but it comes a little harder in your condition.”

  “Ach, Mamm. They probably just want the farm. There’s few places as big that offer so much land for planting.” She sat down at the kitchen table, watching Mamm tackle the poor dress yet another time.

  “Well, it’s not like you’re the only widow with child. It just makes life easier to have a man around. I would know after the last couple of years being nursemaid to your daed.” She hadn’t lifted her head, which Lucy appreciated. Mamm’s gaze could penetrate right through her, leaving her to feel as if she knew everything about her just by staring at her.

  “How is he, Mamm?” She asked each and every week, but the answer was the same. She was glad it didn’t change, although perhaps her mamm was keeping information from her. Maybe she was waiting until after the babies were born, which would be soon. Lucy almost wanted to hasten the delivery, in hopes Daed would know they had come.

  Mamm stared long and hard at Lucy. “He’s better than you. You look tired. Maybe you’re in need of a nap.”

  “I haven’t been up that long. I feel lazy with all of you taking care of me.” When she stopped and thought about it, she didn’t need a single thing to get by except the love and care of those around her. She had spent so long alone with Sam, cooking, cleaning, and tending to him, that she hadn’t gotten the precious time and care that she had now become accustomed to here.

  “Don’t push yourself. Your body’s working extra hard about now. Those babies are taking everything you’ve got left in you.” Unlike a few minutes ago her mamm was gently ironing a small b
lack dress. Lucy wondered where the blue one had gone and what kind of shape it was in.

  It was a good time to tell her. With the focus being on the babies, Mamm seemed to mellow a bit.

  “Mamm, you don’t have to worry about my raising these babies alone.” She paused to see Mamm’s eyes lift to hers as she set the iron up.

  “Well, of course not. You have your mammi and the girls. And me. Once things settle down, I’ll be back. It’ll be sooner than you think. And then there’s Manny.” She turned to Lucy waiting for her reply.

  “Jah, Manny.” She couldn’t keep the mist from her eyes just saying his name.

  “What’s got you so upset?” Mamm stood straight and tall with a puzzled look on her face.

  “I’m not upset.” She shut her eyes and a tear dropped. “I am very blessed to have so many around me to go through this with me, especially Manny.” She let out a breath of air as her mamm’s eyes grew wide. She backtracked. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to tell her. For some reason, at this moment it didn’t seem real. What she was leery about, she didn’t know, but it made her pause.

  Mamm put a hand to her chest. “Jah, praise Gott for that. I can leave here knowing you’re in good hands.” She whispered in such a soft tone Lucy’s didn’t think it could possibly be coming from her mamm’s mouth.

  Lucy was glad to hear the words for more than one reason. Mamm approved of Manny, although who wouldn’t? Lucy also knew that if her mamm knew she was in good hands, Mamm could go home to tend to her daed.

  “I thought you’d approve of him.” Lucy’s voice was stronger than she felt. She was confident her mamm would accept Manny, but she could never be sure what her mamm might say. Manny had wanted to be here when she told her mamm, but he hadn’t seen every side of Mamm yet, and Lucy didn’t want their future to start out on a bad note.

  Mamm let out a sigh. “I’ve gotten to know him over the past couple of weeks. He’s a nice man. Hopefully he’ll make sure you and the little ones are taken care of. More so than Sam ever would have.”

  “Mamm!” As much as her mamm stuck to the rules, she seemed to feel obliged to share her opinion even after a person was deceased. When Lucy stopped to think about it, she knew her mamm might be right, that Sam wouldn’t have been truly prepared to care for a wife and two babies. The thought took her breath away, and she said a word of thanksgiving for putting Manny into her life.

  “How blessed these two little ones will be with you and so many others.” Her face contorted, and she suddenly seemed to be caught up in her thoughts. “Ach, how I wish I could be here to see them.” Her face relaxed as if with a new thought. “And I’m still praying for a redhead.”

  “You can’t pray for such things,” Lucy said, more quickly than she meant to. Maybe the trivial was still worthy of a short prayer once in a while. After all, Gott had a hand in the tiniest of things, even the birds in the trees.

  “Prayers are a gift we have to communicate with the Lord. Unlike during the four hundred years of silence the Bible tells us of, we are able to commune with Him every second of the day, if we so choose.” Mamm’s strength came from her strong faith—the one thing about her mamm Lucy wished she had. But along with that came an air of legalism that Lucy resented. Lucy felt she didn’t need to answer to anyone but God. Even the deacons in their community had to earn her respect through their relationship with the Lord before she felt she could trust and obey them.

  Lucy chuckled. It wasn’t in her Amish upbringing to go against the deacons or bishop, but when it came to her and Manny getting married, she might stand for what she deemed necessary.

  “You don’t agree?” Mamm asked, frowning.

  “Jah, I believe you’ve taught me more than one lesson within the last couple of minutes.” It was a thought that started running around her head, sparking more thoughts and then still more.

  Mamm grinned and held up the two little dresses she’d made and ironed. “What do you think of these?”

  “What if I have a boy?” Lucy giggled. “Do you want him to wear one or are you going to be sensible and make some fine pants just in case?”

  “Hmm, I suppose for good measure, but I can’t say you’ll be needing them.” Mamm took another approving look at the darling dresses and sat down to fish out more fabric.

  “Do you need me for anything here?” Lucy was already grabbing a light jacket when her mamm looked up at her with her bifocals at the tip of her nose.

  “Where are you going?” She looked ages older with the glasses she wore only when she had a needle in her hand.

  “To see Rosy. I won’t be long” She took one step out the door then poked her head back in. “Danke, Mamm.”

  Mamm shrugged, either indifferent about what Lucy was thanking her for or merely distracted. With that, Lucy set her sights on finding Rosy. She was the only one of the three women she hadn’t talked with yet about how things were.

  The walk to the barn behind Mammi’s haus was short, but Lucy was tired after just a few steps. She felt better when she was walking or moving around, but she lost her energy quickly, and her mind was pinging with thought. Of the three women she so admired, Rosy was the most like Lucy. She wanted to ask Rosy why she had never married.

  The ladies were finishing up their quilting and rearranging the barn back to order. Lucy found it too difficult to sit and quilt. Her legs cramped, and the chairs seemed harder, so she preferred to watch or work in the haus. She studied the half-finished quilt they were working on and found the autumn colors calming.

  “These colors are as beautiful as the leaves on the trees outside. When will it be done?” she asked.

  Mammi was bent over, picking up scraps and putting them in a bag. Every single piece was saved, nothing thrown away. “Ach, Lucy. I know how you like these fall colors.”

  “How are you, Luce?” Rosy put a gentle hand on her belly. “I usually get a kick out of one of them. Maybe both, for that matter.”

  “Still can’t believe I’m having two.” Lucy knew she would have help from Manny, but the others didn’t, and now, for some reason, she wanted to wait. Her conversation with her mamm was encouraging, but she felt some hesitation. It was as if something wasn’t complete or finished yet, though what it was, she couldn’t say. Sometimes she feared that she wasn’t truly meant to be a mamm. But then how did anyone know until it became real?

  “How did you know there are two?” an elderly Amish woman asked with a frown. “Only twins I know about is after they come out.”

  “A doctor checked on me, Martha.” The less information the better. Some—especially the older Amish—didn’t find anyone but a midwife acceptable for such a private event.

  Bertha grunted, and a couple others looked over, listening to the conversation. “Why in the world would you have an outsider looking you over?” She moved closer, and some stared.

  “I didn’t ask him to come.” Lucy didn’t want to tell them who set up the visit, but she couldn’t lie either.

  “So Fannie did.” The way the older woman said Fannie’s name brought up the heat in Lucy’s cheeks.

  “It doesn’t matter who. It was a kind gesture. Even though I didn’t know he was coming . . . ” She marshaled her courage, glad Fannie wasn’t there to hear this, but also because Fannie wouldn’t even let the conversation go as long as it had. “I’m glad he did.”

  Some of them shoo
k their heads, and one put a hand to her heart. Others were indifferent. But it seemed this woman wasn’t going to let up. Lucy stood tall, and Rosy took her by the hand. “I believe we did good work here today. Let’s enjoy our evening.” With that, they picked up Rosy’s bag and started for the barn door, but Lucy stopped her.

  “Is there somewhere we can talk?”

  Rosy stopped and looked in her eyes. “She tends to complain about a lot of things, Luce. Don’t get upset about her.”

  “It’s not that. I know what she’s like, and I understand her concern. Things keep changing, and most her age don’t like it.” Lucy looked over her shoulder to make sure they wouldn’t be heard. “It might not be my business to ask, but I was wondering why you never married.” She waited a moment to see how Rosy responded.

  Rosy pursed her lips and looked down at her boots. “I don’t mind telling you, but why do you ask?” She put her hands behind her back and kept her eyes downward.

  “It seems to me that women who don’t have a chance to find something for themselves end up wishing they did.”

  She shook her head. “Nee, I didn’t marry because I was so shy, I’d never even look a man in the eye, let alone go courting. I thought for years I’d missed out on what every good, sensible woman wanted—to be married.”

  “But you don’t feel that way now?”

  “Nee, not so much. There are times I do, like now, seeing you with babies coming and knowing Manny will be there for you.”

  Lucy paused. “That’s what I’m wondering about. I hope it doesn’t become a burden for him. They aren’t his children to bear the burden for.”

  They were both quiet for a long moment. “There’s only one way to find out.”